Not Broke

So early this morning (1am early!) I realized that I miscalculated my loan. The total number is actually $31,386 and not $20,886 as I had orginally thought.

There I was, just wanting to make sure I got the details right – when I saw the glaring number in my face. 

Yesterday, I got a comment on my post about whether investing was the smart thing. The comment linked to another blogger’s post about the KISS - Keep it Simple System.  That is, before worrying about investing, you should pay down debt because that’s simple thing to do.

At first it bothered me to just let my money sit around and do nothing.  But after seeing that crazy number – I just want it to go away. Go away. Fast.   

It would be nice if I can just put in a 1,000 dollars and just wait for it to turn into 4,000 so I can get rid of the credit card debt and move on to the student loans. But I’m realizing more and more that I’m being absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know what I’m doing. I have NO CLUE as to what I’m doing.

And – I’m also realizing that my shopoholic tendencies are just being translated into trading. I think, well I would have spent 50 bucks at Target so I might as well buy more stock. Or I think, my monthly Starbucks expense can go into ETF investments. 

But according to KISS -that’s wrong. My monthly Starbucks should go towards either the loan or the CC debt. Not more spending. Even if it’s smart spending -it’s still spending.

I need to pay this down before I take out yet more loans this summer before I start graduate school. I’m not dumb, I know it’s not going to be paid off before August. But I need the number to go down. I hope that my credit cards will at least be paid off by then.

I think maybe I should papertrade for a while. There are a number of software platforms that are free, which allow me to trade with paper money. I can practice, figure out what the HELL i’m doing, before going back. In the meantime, I can pay down the cards and do more research on how to turn my money around faster than this KISS strategy calls for….

I’m totally depressed. But whatever. One day, after grad school, I’ll have a super flush paycheck and this will just all be a distant memory….   Because I will NEVER over extend myself again.

Who gives college students credit cards, anyway? What the hell.